I Love These Lines!
November 10, 2005These are very funny (and indeed classy) things to say when stressed! Received the email weeks ago, and I couldn’t help but apply them at work. My favorite ones are numbers 8, 18, 21 and especially 24 at this job that we have! Try to find yours! 
1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!
2. You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing!
3. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
4. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
5. Well, aren’t we a bloody ray of sunshine?
6. Don’t bother me, I’m living happily ever after.
7. Do I look like a fucking people person!
8. This isn’t an office. It’s HELL with fluorescent lighting!
9. I started out with nothing still have most of it left.
10. I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me.
11. YOU! Off my planet!!!
12. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose.
13. Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control.
14. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
15. And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be?
16. I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
17. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
18. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
19. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
20. I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable
21. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.
22. Back off!! You’re standing in my aura.
23. Don’t worry. I forgot your name too.
24. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
25. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
26. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
27. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
28. Wait… I’m trying to imagine you with a personality…
29. Chaos, panic, and disorder… my work here is done.
30. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
31. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
32. Earth is full. Go home.
33. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
34. I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
35. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth.
36. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
37. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
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